What if your spouse is deployed and he starts to treat you meanly for no reason?

So, If he gets deployed and wants you to move into housing and you leave a really good job to move on base with him and once you move you are unemployed then he go to Iraq and starts treating you like crap and starts arguments with you then hang up in your face and don't call email nothing to you for like two months don't even ask how his child is doing.... what could cause this? Why is he being this way?What if your spouse is deployed and he starts to treat you meanly for no reason?
He acts like that because he is a jerk, always was and always will and don't let this army, Irak business give you an excuse for his attitude. There is no reason why he does not even care about his own child, if he has psychological issues, then he should bang his head against the wall or maybe pull out his teeth but how convenient to just be rude to you and not care about his child. I would serve him with divorce papers before he changes to next channel.What if your spouse is deployed and he starts to treat you meanly for no reason?
He is scared that you are going to leave him. When you are deployed, most of the men get ';dear john'; letters and it scares the s*** out of people. In all of the MP's only 2 of us didn't get one of those letters. And when you are surrounded by it everyday, your imagination runs wild.





Just write him and tell him that you know he is scared, but you are there for him and love him. He needs it right now, you know, that reassurance.





EDIT: I'm just telling you this from a man who has been deployed before, I'm not in your shoes and him not checking on his kid is 100% wrong wrong wrong. But sometimes, you have to be the bigger person and say sorry because if something happens to him out there, you will never forgive yourself for not speaking up and apologizing. Every day is precious, remember that.





EDIT AGAIN: Has he been checked for PTSD? He most likely has it and has had it for along time if it is his 4th.....
my husband did that and he was planning to marry another woman when he got home. i am on my way back over there for my 3rd time and have never been in a relationship while gone so idk what's going on with him. but i like to talk to people at home when deployed. especially people i love. i check on my kids ALL the time. even if i don't like the people they are with (my in laws). be patient with him on this one. if he's doing something it wont be secret for long.
It takes two....who starts the arguments?


But, it could also be control, with him not being there, he tries to control and manipulate.....


I guess yes, we have to understand he could be frustrated and in horrible circumstances which we cannot comprehend, apart from the documentaries we get to see.
My husband just got back from Iraq. For some people it is normal. A lot of people that go over there change because of what they are going through. They have to worry about if they are going to die that day. He is probably just taking it out on you and can't really concentrate on what's going on at home when he is constantly scared for his life.
Gee...and everyone thinks being married to a military man is so romantic.





This is entirely too complicated to even get into with you. Sorry you have to flounder but this is a typical marriage problem, military or not that the two of you have to address and work out. Like adults....if you can fathom that.
Have you asked him? Deployment is not the ideal situation for married people. He could be under a great deal of stress, and if you are dumping on him AT ALL, it may be too much.





You can get help on base. I suggest you seek it out. They may be able to help you cope.
one of the main reasons why a man changes and begins to disrespect and fault fine and argue is that he is cheating on u, and doesn't value or respect or love u like he use to. its hard to take but when it happened in my marriage it was due to betrayal.
because before you were independent and he needed you... but now that you are fully dependent of him he knows he can treat you like crap and you have no where to go!!!
maybe it's because he's in IRAQ.





you might want to give the guy a break.
hes going through things well never know just stick it out but let him know its hurting your feeling